There are essentially two kinds of people in conversation…downers and lifters. We all know who the downers are. They’re the people that you talk to that are always talking about their problems. Their world is constantly a whirlwind and drama is always unfolding. Now let me just say that I’m not talking about people that are legitimately struggling. We all go through trials and storms and when we do, there is nothing wrong with talking about it and enlisting the help of others to push through. I’m more talking about the people that never make progress. They don’t want to put their hand to the plow and do the hard work of growth. They’re always way more interested in themselves than you and when you’re done talking to them, the air has completely left your sails.

Then there are the lifters. You know who they are to. They have made many decisions along the way and have resolved to be a voice of hope and life in the lives of others. I’m going through the 70 resolutions of Jonathan Edwards and resolution 58 says…

Resolved, Not only to refrain from an air of dislike, fretfulness, and anger in conversation, but to exhibit an air of love, cheerfulness, and benignity.

Edwards had resolved to be a lifter. I imagine that you’d walk away from a conversation with him feeling a little lighter on your feet. You’d probably feel like your burden wasn’t quite so heavy anymore. He may have offered to pray for you and he probably gave you some helpful instruction on how to push through whatever trial you’re in. He was a lifter.

Here are some questions that will help you determine whether you’re a lifter or a downer…

1. Do you genuinely listen to others when they talk? Not just waiting for your turn to speak but listening out of true interest and love.

2. Are you able to rejoice when others are succeeding around you or do you just compare yourself to them and wish you had their luck?

3. Are you good at asking questions because you genuinely want to know people?

4. Are you preoccupied with the art of encouragement and have you made it your personal goal to lift those whom you come into contact with?

5. Do you pray consistently for others? If someone listened to your prayer life would they know that you cared for those around you?

There are other questions I could ask here but you get the point. Are you a lifter or a downer? Please understand that if you’re struggling right now, I’m not coming down on you. In fact, part of being a lifter is dealing well with our own issues so that we can have the capacity to deal with others. That’s how true lifters become lifters. They learn over time to give their issues to God so that they can be a conduit of life and hope in a world filled with darkness.

This post isn’t so much about where you’re at right now but rather where you’re going. You won’t be a lifter by accident but all of us will inevitably drift towards being a downer. Have you resolved to be a lifter for others? What’s your next step?