I’m working through the 70 resolutions of Jonathan Edwards and resolution 59 is one of the more difficult ones for me. It says…

Resolved, When I am most conscious of provocations to ill nature and anger, that I will strive most to feel and act good-naturedly; yea, at such times, to manifest good nature, though I think that in other respects it would be disadvantageous, and so as would be imprudent at other times. 

I don’t know if everyone would say this but I think of myself as being a pretty nice person. That being the case, I don’t find myself in a lot of relational tension. In fact, I hardly ever find myself in any relational tension. My marriage is pretty smooth-sailing and so are my friendships. That being said, I do have an internal switch that can get hit under the right circumstances. Edwards is saying in this resolution that he’s not going to let himself fly off the handle when he’s provoked. That he would actually strive in those intense situations to still maintain a peaceful disposition even though he may really want to respond in anger.

How do you respond when someone is pushing your buttons? How do you respond when it’s justified for you to lose your temper? Those are the most difficult times…when it’s justified. When you’re justified to lose your cool based on the wrongs that have been committed against you, who could honestly fault you for snapping back at the person?

This is where grace comes in. All of us have experienced an incredible amount of grace from God and need to be mindful of that when others are in need of grace. It can sure feel good to put someone in their place but we have to think through the long-term ramifications. Ask yourself, “What am I trying to accomplish in this situation?” If you really want to help bring about true and lasting change in your life and in the lives of others, we must handle our interactions with people carefully. Before you respond to someone in anger or send that biting email, make sure that you consult wise counsel and give yourself an opportunity to cool down. Very rarely do we make smart decisions in the heat of the moment so taking time to consider your next step is hardly ever a bad idea. We only have a small amount of time on this earth and must consider carefully what we want our legacy to be. What do you want to be known by? I would encourage you to not answer that question too quickly.