Lost at sea. I thought I knew where I was going but then something happened and I seem to have lost my way. The direction seemed so certain but I lost my point of baring….now I find myself staring at the empty horizon in all directions…upon my reflections it seems like everything should be so certain and straightforward…but alas, we live our lives based on categories largely of our own making and conception…at some point we either die or open our eyes to the deception and realize that so much of our confidence was based on a misconception concocted out of the insecurity of being lost at sea…tossed to and fro by the waves of doubt, fear, love, life, guilt, shame, blindness and death. The breath in us lets us know that we’re still alive and we want to make a difference. We want to change and grow but what does success look like and how would we know if we arrived. We don’t want to live a contrived existence but we’re afraid to let go because…well because then we’re not in control and we’d be forced to roll in whichever direction the gravity pulled us and what if it pulls us to an undesired haven…so we find ourselves restlessly slaving under the bitter tyranny of fear and duty…of responsibility and order. Something deep within us that we won’t acknowledge craves a better ride…craves disorder and uncontrollable speed because maybe…just maybe it will lead us to freedom…and if not then perhaps to destruction but at least that would be better than the corruption of living life half way. Half committed, half surrendered…half asleep and half awake. So here we are….in the middle of a huge ocean with only the voice of faith to guide us to the desired haven. To a place that will feel like home. We can imagine it in the deepest parts of our being even without seeing it’s welcoming and somehow familiar shores. Our spirit soars at the thought but then we’re violently brought back to the reality of our plight…So for now we fight, we wrestle, we link arms and move forward together knowing that the war will not last forever. We’ll never give up, we’ll never say never…we’ll hold onto our hope and sever the ties with our doubt and deception. This is the time for growth, necessity is the mother of invention.