So this morning I woke up and I didn’t feel great. I felt a heightened level of anxiety and no really clear reason as to why. My team and I are in the mountains on a staff retreat so I decided to take advantage of the time margin.

There is a river just down the road so….I decided to go down to the river to pray (-; (O brother, where art thou reference). I started throwing my problems, as I perceived them, out to God. I was hoping for a brilliant stroke of insight or a scripture reminder that would explain everything. I didn’t get anything like that.

What I did get however, was a profound sense of peace that just washed over me. I didn’t seem to have any questions after that. Not one. I just felt ready to go back to the cabin. What I realized is that Jesus is not a truth to be understood, he is a reality to be experienced.

I have some bad news for you….your questions may never get answered. The burning questions on your mind may never get resolved this side of heaven. To be honest though, I don’t know that it would matter if they did. There will always be another question.

The only way to find peace is to take your questions to God. To throw yourself into his presence and wait. Wait for him to do what only he can do. Wait for him to show up. If you’re like me, you start to wonder how it would feel if he didn’t. The fear….the depression….the sense of being alone. But then….what if he does show up? Only one way to find out.