I know that 29 years old is not old by any stretch of the imagination but it is hard to believe that I’m 29. 11 years ago today was the most important day of my life. It started off like any normal day. I don’t actually remember much of what I did that day. I was a freshman at the College of Charleston finishing up my very first semester. The next day I would be leaving to go home to Connecticut for my first Christmas break but little did I know that everything was about to change for me. The night of December 12th I went to sleep like any normal night but I was immediately seized by a dream that would forever change the course of my journey. Some of you may know the story so I’ll be brief in my description.

In the dream I found myself in a dark soul descending into what seemed to be a bottomless abyss. There were other dark souls descending with me and in front of me was a brilliant light. Into the light ascended faces with a magnificence that I had never seen before. I awoke from the dream and I knew exactly what it meant. I knew that I was not straight with God and that I had been rejecting him in my life. I knew that because of my own choices that if I had died in that moment, I would not go to heaven. For the first time ever that night I prayed a genuine prayer with the help of my friend Ashwin. I prayed a humble prayer asking Jesus to come into my heart to be my Lord and Savior. I instantaneously felt a light invade my heart that would never leave. I awoke the next morning with a sense of life inside that I never knew existed. Call it born again…call it saved….I knew life would never be the same.

Since that day it has been an incredible journey. I don’t feel that I have arrived or that I’m perfect but I have learned a ton over these 11 years. I just wanted to give a quick reflection on my time as a Christian. True Christianity is not an intellectual ascent to a certain list of beliefs. It’s not a ritual of going to church nor is it about reading a Bible and praying. True Christianity is about a relationship with Jesus Christ who is the risen Savior. It’s not about believing that he existed or just mentally agreeing that he rose from the dead. True Christianity is characterized by a heart that has surrendered to God and accepted the saving grace that he offered in sending his Son to die in our place. That being said, here are a few reflections based on my journey thus far:

1. Relationship with God is not a formula

I’m a creature of habit by nature. I get the same thing at the same restaurants without fail. When I find something that works in pretty much every area of my life, I stick with it. Many of you know my endless battle with the game of golf. Somehow I got it into my head forever ago that there was one trick or one secret in the game of golf that if discovered, would cause the entire game to suddently make sense. When I find a pre-shot routine or a stance that seems to work, I will stick with it religiously until I start hitting bad shots consistently again…then it’s back to the drawing board.

I have tried to turn Christianity into a religion a countless number of times. Whether it’s a certain way of praying or a certain book to read or a certain way to read the Bible…I’m always trying to turn the whole deal into a system. Thus far I’ve been unsuccessful in my attempts and anticipate that I will continue to be.

Christianity is not a formula. God is real and so is his Son. My best times of connecting with God have been times when I’ve approached him authentically and openly. I try to go to him and just be honest about the struggles that I face and the questions that I have. The answers that I get are rarely clean and rarely come in the way or at the time that I want them. I have found however, that God really does care about me and actually wants a true relationship.

2. Trials build character

It may just be growing up in America and the way our culture is that leads us to believe that Christianity is a consumer religion. I’m an experience guy. Whether it’s the perfect cup of coffee or the perfect round of golf, I love experiences. I tend to approach God with a lot of opinions and feel that I have a pretty good idea as to how he should be running things. In my infinite wisdom (feel the sarcasm!) I have a difficult time believing that God may actually disagree with me…crazy I know. I have found over time that it has been the undesirable experiences, the unanswered prayers, the difficult circumstances and other tough times that have taught me the most. I don’t proclaim this truth without a bit of a wince because it sure doesn’t seem fun when the trials are taking place. That being said, in retrospect I have grown to appreciate the difficulties in my relationship with God and in my life in general because I can see how much I’ve grown in the process.

3. God loves me

I think there are probably a lot of people out there that don’t believe that God actually loves them. “God, if you loved, how could you allow this to happen?” “God, if you actually cared, how come you didn’t step in and do something about this?” Prayers like this are prayed all the time and I’ve prayed a bunch of these myself. I’m not even saying that it’s necessarily wrong to pray like that because at least it’s honest. That being said, God really does love us. Nothing demonstrates this truth more than what he did by giving his life for us. Over the course of 11 years I’ve seen the faithfulness of God in my life. I’ve seen him come through for me when I didn’t even know what to pray for. I’ve seen him give me peace at times that my finite mind could not find anything to be peaceful in. I’ve seen him come through financially when it just didn’t make sense. I’ve seen him bring friends in my life that I could not have imagined. I’ve seen him bless my marriage in such a way that I couldn’t possibly accomplish on my own. I could write a book about it. God loves me and he loves you too…we just gotta take him up on it and actually seek him.

4. God can do anything

I tend to worry too much. When I get into a situation that exceeds my ability to figure out (this happens daily), stress immediately comes. I start to feel like there is no way that whatever it is might work out. One thing I have learned in 11 years of walking with God is that I don’t know what I don’t know. Possibilites exist that exceed the framework of my limited mind. I’ve seen prayers answered in ways that I could not have ever thought of. This has taught me to have a sense of awe when it comes to approaching God. I try to not pretend that I know everything and approach him humbly with an open heart.

I could go on and on but it has been an incredibly journey. Perhaps reading this you find yourself on the journey with me. If that’s you I would just encourage you to press on. There will definitely be difficulties as long as you have a pulse but it’s worth every second. If you have not started a journey with Christ, my encouragement to you would be to go for it. God loves you more than you could ever know and wants you to know him. He paid the penalty for your sins so that you could have a relationship with him. No matter where you are at in life right now, he’s just a prayer away.

Thanks for listening,

Chris